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Amused Muse

Inspiring dissent and debate and the love of dissonance

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Location: Surreality, Have Fun Will Travel, Past Midnight before a Workday

Master's Degree holder, telecommuting from the hot tub, proud Darwinian Dawkobot, and pirate librarian belly-dancer bohemian secret agent scribe on a mission to rescue bloggers from the wholesome clutches of the pious backstabbing girl fridays of the world.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Stop! In the Name of Love!

Since this thread has been hijacked by the "How can you say that about Dr. Egnor" brigade, here's a link about doctors behaving badly.
UPDATED: If you liked the "granny's revenge" video below, you'll love this oldie: "The world's most patient cop." My hero. (Get a load of what he says at 1:53!)
The Vatican issues a “Ten Commandments” for drivers of motor vehicles.

Actually, I don’t think this is a bad idea (although, once again, I object to the mentality of “commandments” and finger-waving, and their attendant implied shame and perfectionism). Inasmuch as prayer, or meditation, or just plain having a good attitude, causes a chemical and mental/emotional change in a person, it makes a difference. I’ve often thought that religious believers were better off praying before they climb into their cars than before a football game. It’s not supernatural, just good mental exercise.

However, I am disappointed that the Vatican left out rules for how drivers should treat pedestrians! (Not everyone rides a donkey into Jerusalem.)

I would add to drivers: Don’t yell out the window at pedestrians (we can never hear what the hell you’re saying, anyway!).

Don’t honk your horn and make a female pedestrian jump out of her skin for no reason. (What are you trying to prove there, Bub?)

Don’t rev your engine and make impatient faces at pedestrians crossing legally at a crosswalk, and/or with a walk sign. You’ll get to where you’re going. You’ll get there faster than the pedestrian will. You have a vehicle. (And an old lady may bonk you with her bag.)

When the sign says, “No turn on red,” no turn on red.

When the sign says, “Stop,” stop! (Bill Janklow!)

Someone I know uses the time at the stop light to meditate. Just a suggestion. (Not unlike that of the Vatican's, although I'm not sure I want people "praying as they drive." Keep your eyes on the road! Please!)

Please go ahead and turn or cross the intersection if I wave at you to do so. In some situations it’s better for a pedestrian to let one car go ahead out of turn so as not to disrupt the larger flow of traffic. (And thank you for being so considerate.)

Don’t get so impatient when you cannot go as fast as it pleases you. You share this world with other people. Their lives are not an inconvenience to you. Take a deep breath. You’ll get there. You have a vehicle, after all! It will be fine if you’re late. And if it’s not fine, maybe you should think about reorganizing your time and your life so that you’re not rushed.

I can help with that. I used to drive. I quit cold turkey but you don’t have to. All it takes is remembering not to use the car to “snack” (running to the bank, grocery store, etc. when you could walk). Use the car for “meals” and, gradually, cut those down, too. You’ll feel better. You will.

It’s all about gradually accumulating small change! (C’mon, you knew I was going to sneak that in there, didn’t you?)

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

And, as someone who commutes to work on a bicycle, I would add one commandment:

Don't be such road-hogging, impatient, maniacal, psychopathic jerk-faces.

Thank you. I feel better now.

Oh, and whoever is responsible for all of that broken glass along the roads that sometimes punctures my tires, please knock it off.

Thanks again.

June 20, 2007 9:22 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Oh, yes. Broken glass. Thanks, Anonymous.

One thing I don't get is why drivers get mad at bicyclists doing the same thing that a car would do. John was at the ATM once on his bike. Some jerk pulled up behind him and started honking his horn, etc., so John, understandably unnerved, hurried up his transaction.

Okay, I tend to be more of a bitch so I probably would have stopped, turned around very slowly, given the drive a questioning look, and if that didn't stop him I would have dialed 911.

What an asshole! Would the guy have been so fucking obnoxious if John had been in a car? What's the big deal?

June 20, 2007 12:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea, less driving, more walking & biking.....

For those who must drive, let me add:

Expanded Vatican Guidelines for the Pastoral Care Of The Road:

1) You shall not kill, even when provoked to an unholy degree…….

2) The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm,
so attend unto the road, hang up thy cell phone and drive…….

3) Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events, but for God’s sake, look at a map beforehand and foresee where thou are going…….

4) Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents,(The lawyer’s Commandment …………. does not apply to MDs)

5) Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin,
even if you ARE driving a BMW…………….


1) Thou shalt not tailgate under any circumstance; one car length is insufficient at 60 mph.

2) Move left to accommodate those entering the highway; if that’s not possible, slowing down won’t kill you……..

3) Despite your conviction that you are traveling at the most prudent rate of speed, the far left lane is for passing, so move right………….

4) Resist the temptation to pull out in front of the car overtaking and passing you … he has shown you the way, so be content to follow at your own pace ……..

5) Thou shalt not pass and then slow down; ask first: WWJD; second: is this pass necessary; and third: am I just being passive-aggressive………

6) Thou shalt not jump the line for a congested exit; thou are not special and shall not exploit the charity of others……..

7) Tolls are a tribulation unto all; if thou havest not the indulgence of a “Pass” tag, utilize the “Cash Only” lanes immediately; (see 6 supra)…..

8) Upon encountering a closed lane, recall kindergarden and practice taking turns when merging ……

9) When someone awaits thy parking space, attempt to move on expeditiously; this is not an occasion to re-program thy radio buttons…….

10) Blinding high-intensity driving lights are a mortal sin and ensure an eternity in purgatory…….

June 20, 2007 1:30 PM  
Anonymous mel said...

"Would the guy have been so fucking obnoxious if John had been in a car?"

I doubt it. People seem to transmogrify into bicycle-hating sociopaths inside cars. For example, no one has ever cussed me out while shoving me out of the way on the sidewalk, even during the crowded craziness of Mardi Gras. But drivers routinely shout obscenities while forcing me off the road when I'm on a bicycle.

But I live in Louisiana where people also legally carry handguns in their cars, so I don't even flip them off despite the repeated near misses in the game of car v. me.

June 20, 2007 2:05 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...


Is there some way that you can hook up a mini video camera to your bike helmet?

It would rawk to get their license numbers that way.

I wonder how many of them think they're good churchgoin' folks when they act like that. John told me that he was nearly run over by the driver of Mary Jo Copeland's huge car.

And why does Mary Jo Copeland, who claims to get no income out of her "charities," have a huge car and a driver? I don't know!

June 20, 2007 2:26 PM  
Anonymous mel said...

Like a helmet cam? That would be fun! Record for a couple of months, pick the three nastiest drivers, track them down later, and do a 60 minutes style confrontation interview at their churches, family picnics, places of employment, . . . "Look at this video of you driving. Where were you going? See how you almost hit that guy on a bike? Is that you shouting at him? Do you think it is a good idea to drive like that?"

June 20, 2007 3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't usually comment in the evolution/ID/creationism/theism/atheism debates.... doesn't really seem to pay.
I do try to read at all of the sites though (to see who has the more rational argument). Over at PZ Myers page he was addressing Dr. Engor's comments about altruism. I noticed alot of loud comments about how dumb, stupid etc Engor was (for disagreeing with the notion that alturism or any other idea is non-material).
But one comment really stuck out. You said that he was a 'bad doctor'.
I don't know why that shocked me, but it did. Well, I guess I know why it shocked me. Why would you make such a bold comment about a person's profession when considering that the main 'offense' (if it is an offense) would be disagreeing with a philosophic world view that you have? I read through alot of what Dr. Engor says to see if I could also come to the conclusion that he is a 'bad doctor'. Maybe he said something goofy about in his practice he tries to bring the four humors back to their normal state.... but nothing.
If there was something that you strived to be your whole life (doctor, teacher, congresswoman, banker...whatever) how would you feel if someone were to invalidate your ability at your profession just based off of your beliefs or views?
I don't know what kind of doctor he is.... but neither do you. You are certainly free to make those comments; but why?
Sorry for putting this here, but I felt the need to bring it up.

June 20, 2007 4:41 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Oh, for pity's sake! I was making a joke! My comment was, "Dr. Egnor, bleah! You're a bad doctor. God liked the late-night nachos, but the nachos didn't like God. Now God says that my altruism is in the toilet." Obviously that IS A JOKE.

People like you really give others (like me) a lot of control over you, getting all bent out of shape like this over a silly statement! Don't you have any sense of humor? "You bad boy, etc." I was not commenting on his career as a surgeon, but since you asked, no way would I let that buffoon near me with a scalpel.

Someone called me "Bad witch, bad, bad witch" at my blog, and did I get upset? Huh? No. It was a joke! I laughed. Granted, I knew who it was. Well, everyone can see who I am - I don't hide behind anonymous comments after all - and anyone with eyes to see can see that I utilize a lot of humor and snark. If you don't like it, don't read it. If you think I'm wrong, what do you care?

And from now on, I'm enforcing the on-topic rule. From now on, keep your comments on-topic. If you have an off-topic comment that you really need to get off your chest, then you have to decloak from anonymity. You don't get to do both. All right?

June 20, 2007 5:24 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

You bad commenter, bad, bad commenter!

(Hahaha. Try it. Hahahahaha. Or don't play with us.)

June 20, 2007 5:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kristine,
I don't hide behind anonymous comments after all

If I agree with some of the materialistic view points (which I do) then I don't get ridiculed. When I disagree (which I do) then I do get ridiculed; regardless of the validity of my argument or my character.
So, if I'm going to get blasted every time I disagree (and my character and integrity will get brought into question because of that dissent) then it just doesn't really matter whether I'm more clandesitne with my identity or more open about it.

Oh, for pity's sake! I was making a joke! My comment was, "Dr. Egnor, bleah! You're a bad doctor.


I was not commenting on his career as a surgeon, but since you asked, no way would I let that buffoon near me with a scalpel.

So you do think he's a bad doctor. Yes, a buffoon with a scalpel should be avoided.

anon, don't you get it!?!?! It was just a joke! Don't get so upset over a joke. However, I was being serious though.


June 21, 2007 9:19 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Okay, you've totally ignored my rule about being off-topic plus anonymous, but since you feel the need to defend yourself about this torturous, niggling, and petty point, I've let you in again. I'm sure everyone is just thrilled to the marrow with this particular discussion.

You are playing a game.

"I don't get involved with the evo-creo wars, but I do get involved with the materialist viewpoint" - oh, you gave yourself away there, Bub.

Bad commenter, bad bad commenter.

As it happens, I'm a bad doctor, too. And no one who is so deluded about consciousness is coming near me with a scalpel. He may be a good doctor - I've no idea. But as a recent survey of doctors showed, even "good" doctors are capable of not offering info/treatments to their patients (particularly their female patients) because of their religious beliefs. I'm 40+ years old and I don't have time for that crap. Give me the whole truth, or I don't care if you're an atheist, you're not treating me.

Clear now? This doesn't happen to be Doctor Egnor himself, does it?

June 21, 2007 9:48 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

And you decloak next time or I'm not letting you through at all.

Your comments are off-topic here. Make them at the relevant post at Pharyngula. And what do you care what I think of Egnor? I must be pretty close to the truth to get you all riled up about some petty, offhand snarker.

June 21, 2007 10:00 AM  
Anonymous Borat said...

I don't understand the joke.

June 21, 2007 10:29 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...


Where in blazes have you been? Did you see our kidnapping post? Dang.

Well, here are my original two comments at Pharyngula, which caused all this fuss:

"The pulse pressure in your brain tissue is greater when you're recumbent than when you're standing (pitch). The venous pressure is lower when you're standing than when you're recumbent.

I don't know about altruism, but when I'm recumbent I feel much less generous about sharing my late-night nachos with sudden guests.

But Dr. Egnor, after my nachos are selfishly digested, do they then become altruism? I'm kind of fuzzy on that part...

And when my nachos becomes my altruism, does that mean I don't carry my nachos/altruism with me? If not, where do nachos go? To heaven?

If God dwells inside of us, I hope He likes nachos, because that's what He's getting."

Okay, that's comment number one. Late-night nachos is a frequent joke with me.

Comment number two: "Where, in the United States, is the presidential election located?

Easy. In 2000, Florida; in 2004, Ohio. Blakey Stacey! You set yourself up for that!

Dr. Egnor, bleah! You're a bad doctor. God liked the late-night nachos, but the nachos didn't like God. Now God says that my altruism is in the toilet.

(Sorry. I couldn't resist.) :-D"

Yeah, sorry. Sue me.

June 21, 2007 10:42 AM  
Anonymous Borat said...


Hahahahaha Kristine ou fell for it!

June 21, 2007 10:51 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Oh dammit! ;-)

Shut up!

Borat, you are evil. Do you hear me? Evil, evil, rotten to the core! Bad Borat! Bad! Bad! :-D

June 21, 2007 11:31 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

And I've missed you, you wanker.

June 21, 2007 11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kristine,
It's me anon again (that's my real name damnit!!!).

Thanks for posting my comments. I don't mean to annoy you, but it seems that I have (ask my wife.... I annoy her too).
But you still posted them, again - thanks.

Take care.

June 21, 2007 2:35 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Oh. That’s your real name? Oh gosh, sorry. I totally believe you. *Deadpan*

And did I tell you what a BAD DOCTOR Borat is? He touches me with so much as a stethoscope, he is completely sued. A boy named “sued.” Hahahaha.

Thanks for being a sport anyway.

June 21, 2007 3:05 PM  
Anonymous Borat said...

I not a wanker LOL! I make central Asia funnyf or glorious shimmies Khazikstan.

June 21, 2007 3:51 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I just wish you'd make sense.

June 21, 2007 4:38 PM  

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