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Amused Muse

Inspiring dissent and debate and the love of dissonance

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Location: Surreality, Have Fun Will Travel, Past Midnight before a Workday

Master's Degree holder, telecommuting from the hot tub, proud Darwinian Dawkobot, and pirate librarian belly-dancer bohemian secret agent scribe on a mission to rescue bloggers from the wholesome clutches of the pious backstabbing girl fridays of the world.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The "Elvis Is Alive" Museum

I just spent two hours today crawling around on my hands and knees with a tape measure, taking dimensions of the Borchert Map Library for my project. Then, because I couldn't find a paper version of their nice maps featuring the fire exits, I snapped a photo of them (under the amused eye of the information desk clerk) on my cell phone. My knees are filthy, and I need a drink.

I just thought I would share that with you.

And, brandy coke in hand, I surfed the net and saw that one of those crazy cats at AtBC shared this with the gang: A report that the "Elvis Is Alive" Museum is closing! Get there soon!

Bill Beeny, the 81-year-old proprietor of The Elvis is Alive Museum, said he has placed his Elvis memorabilia on eBay in hopes someone else will take up the cause. It includes photographs, books, FBI files, replicas of the Cadillac he drove and the casket and gravestone from his purported 1977 funeral, even a painted Elvis head.

Beeny [Isn't that a great name, folks?], a self-described "western Kentucky hillbilly" Baptist minister who wound up in Missouri 50 years ago, is selling the contents of his roadside attraction, a transformed laundromat 55 miles west of St. Louis that he opened in 1990, to satisfy something else that drives him.

"I have a burden to help people," said Beeny, wearing the penciled dark mustache, long sideburns and slicked black hair of an Elvis aficionado. "Someone else can run, will run, the museum. No one in the whole country is doing the job I intend to do."

I may have found my calling!


UPDATED: Beeny battles on. (Includes photo. No, we know what Elvis looks like!)

He says he's "open to the idea that Elvis is still alive." Because it's good, you see, to be open-minded, and all. *Fart*

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is warmer 55 miles west of Saint Louis, MO, than it is in the Twin Cities in January.

November 12, 2007 2:06 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Rub it in! It is warmer just about anywhere than the Twin Cities in January! ;-)

November 12, 2007 9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno??? Egeland, ND, was mighty cold the December of '48. Can't say about January tho'; the family left December 27.
Egeland is just twenty miles south of the Manitoba border.

November 12, 2007 1:09 PM  
Anonymous JanieBelle said...

Kristine quipped, "I may have found my calling!".

Me too!

I have tasted the way of the shimmy, and I am lost.


November 13, 2007 9:20 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

So, I now have assistants for the International Shimmy Museum?

November 13, 2007 1:23 PM  
Anonymous JanieBelle said...

Heh. The lessons (two of them) were a bit more difficult last night, but I think a little practice will get us shimmying away at your museum.

I'm having a little trouble with the zaar-head thing. Grace is a little uncoordinated, so walking and shimmying is challenging for her. Kate is doing them both well, though.

I think part of the problem is that we just found the show, and thought that we were watching the first couple lessons. Um... lessons 11, 12, and 13.

We'll have to watch for the first lessons, I guess.

One thing that's distracting me is the instructor's voice. The Namaste instructor is very smooth and comforting, her voice sort of flows with the exercises. This instructor is more sharp and staccato, with clipped instructions. She doesn't speak in full sentences -

"Raise hips. Lift arms. Wrists together. Hips left. Hips right." With a little more volume, she could be a drill instructor for the Marines.

I can't really articulate what I'm trying to point out here in text, I guess you'd have to watch them both to really understand.

On a brighter note, we all seem to be getting pretty good at the horizontal mambo.




P.S. It's going to be 78 degrees F here today. Just so y'know.

November 14, 2007 7:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We've gotten a little off-topic here.

Mr. Beeny gives the impression that he is wacko in the bean. "Elvis is alive:" some folks just can't face facts; They must cling to their fantasies.

I never was that much of an Elvis fan-didn't care for "Hound Dog" or "Jail House Rock." They were just so much raucous noise from my perspective. I liked his soft ballads; once "Fools Rush In" brought tears to my eyes. All too often the lyrics of his ballads were rather silly.

November 14, 2007 1:46 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

What if Elvis never existed? ;-)

Holy crap! Elvis has yet to be born! :-D

Um, I think I just came up with a really creepy scam.

November 14, 2007 4:03 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I wonder how come there hasn't been any "Elvis is drunk on a street corner and needs your money" (variant of Nigerian) e-mail spam?

I wonder if I started this e-mail chain-bang, and had a yahoo account for people to reply to, how many would reply?

*Feels really creeped now*

November 14, 2007 4:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So that's Elvis standing at the corner of Sixth and Broadway in Kansas City, MO, holding up a sign. All this while I've been calling him Hobo McBumm. My wife won't let me throw hand grenades at him.

It's even warmer in Mississippi, where the museum is moving. But don't forget when them cotton bolls git rotten, ya cain't pick very much cotton. 'N' the Tallahatchie bridge is somewhere down there. Don't go gittin' dee-pressed if ya relocate there.

November 14, 2007 8:24 PM  
Anonymous JanieBelle said...

Hey now!

I hijacked this thread fair and square, and I resent your attempts to put it back on topic, Scotius!


November 14, 2007 9:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sure hope Janiebelle don't git too dee-pressed about my efforts to get the thread back on the rails, lest she wander too near the Tallahatchie bridge 'n' do sumthin rash.

November 14, 2007 9:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see someone has to step in and make peace. That was Elvis that you saw shimmying for cash on the street corner. The reason why Elvis faked his death so that he may have time to shimmy.

There. I hope everybody is happy. The Big E is coming back and he will be doing The Jail House Shimmy!


November 15, 2007 1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shimmy, shimmy coco pop,
Shimmy, shimmy pop.

That wasn't one of Elvis's songs.

November 15, 2007 7:35 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

"Don't" was. ;-)

November 15, 2007 5:05 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Now you guys, you all be good, because I'm going to try to get Matthew Chapman to come over here!

November 15, 2007 5:05 PM  
Anonymous JanieBelle said...


Are my horns showing?

November 15, 2007 8:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Don't," that wasn't one of Elvis's songs I was all that familiar with, but it was a big hit in 1957: #1 on the charts.
It really is a pretty tune; the lyrics are not at all silly.

November 15, 2007 11:15 PM  

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