Bush's Spiritual Side(s)

People liked the last part of my last post the most, so here it is again, in all its sarcastic purity. (Hey, when you like something, instead of e-mailing me you can add comments! So that I will have some comments! )

Taoist Bush: Bullshit happens. (See also Taoist Rumsfeld.)
Confucianist Bush: Confucius deny that bullshit happens.
Buddhist Bush: If bullshit happens, it isn’t really bullshit. (See also Confucianist Bush)

Zen Bush: What is the sense of bullshit not happening?
Muslim Bush: If bullshit happens, September 11th. They hate our bullsh—I mean, our freedom.
Tongue-Speaking Bush: If bullshit happens, fund Israel and aouiosfson sidfopds sdufiodps! Amen!

Catholic Bush: If bullshit happens, it’s to protect you.
Peace Process Bush: If bullshit happens, it’s to protect Israel.
Fundamentalist Bush: If bullshit happens, it’s to protect Jesus.

Fundraiser Bush: If bullshit happens, it’s to protect me.
Protestant Bush: Let my bullshit spread freedom across the world!
Intellectual Bush: Aouiosfson sidfopds sdufiodps. (See also Alan Keyes) Amen.

Born-Again Bush: God put me on this earth to bullshit. As President.
Creationist Bush: The jury is out on Darwin’s bullshit.
“Education President” Bush: Science is bullshit. Teach the idiocy.

Moonie Bush: Ya’ll wouldn’t believe the bullshit I pulled as a cheerleader. And one time when I was a pilot, and drunk as a skunk, I even mooned my Commanding Offic—oh! You mean, Moonie! Like the Moonies! Oh, yeah, it’s a religion. Um—

Hare Krishna Bush: Bullshit happens, like this darn tambourine hittin’ my crotch. Rama, Rama—what the hell’s a Rama?
Environmental Bush: Global Warming is bullshit.
AWOL Bush: Showin’ up is bullshit.

Rastafarian Bush: Let’s smoke this bullshit Constitution.
Impeached Bush: Well, shoot now—that’ll never happen! :)