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Amused Muse

Inspiring dissent and debate and the love of dissonance

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Location: Surreality, Have Fun Will Travel, Past Midnight before a Workday

Master's Degree holder, telecommuting from the hot tub, proud Darwinian Dawkobot, and pirate librarian belly-dancer bohemian secret agent scribe on a mission to rescue bloggers from the wholesome clutches of the pious backstabbing girl fridays of the world.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Garden of Eden [Snake] Oil

I've been watching this company, Zion Oil, for a while. Ed has the full story of this guy, another poor, deluded man [John Brown, probably a brother of Charlie - wink!] wrecking his finances and his reputation and his life over some wild god chase, because he believes Israel has oil based solely on some sophomoric interpretation of a bible verse. Pathetic - but guess who else is in on the scheme? And he wants people to invest, so that his own stock holdings in Zion don't go to, um, hell.

(Anyone remember The 1980s: Countdown to Armageddon? Yes, the true believers got upset at us atheists for pooh-poohing that turd as well. We're so mean, not to enable the addictions of others to this claptrap.)

Shimmies to Ed at Dispatches.

UPDATED: Hey! I've got a solution for John Brown. He needs to employ Uri Geller.

He [Geller] claims that he has accumulated wealth in part by performing dowsing services to find commodities such as oil, gold, and minerals, but that the companies he has worked for are reluctant to admit it. In recent years, he has performed demonstrations such as spoon-bending much less frequently in public.

Yep, a good ole American tall tale, old Geller! He's coming out with a new show.

NBC has announced Phenomenon, a new reality competition series that will follow mentalist Uri Geller and Criss Angel Mindfreak illusionist Criss Angel as they search for "the next great mentalist," will premiere on Wednesday, October 24 at 8PM ET/PT.

Just great. This will keep those twits on The View in ecstasy for weeks.

I keep hearing the argument that "atheism and the idea that science can solve every problem [for the record I don't believe that anything can solve every problem] is an idea from the Seventies!" Well, now a fraud from the Seventies has his own show again, despite being humiliated by Johnny Carson and James Randi. I guess people think that's better, somehow.

Shimmies to Rev. BigDumbChimp.

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Blogger Reggie said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

October 01, 2007 11:26 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Well, obviously he died because you didn't pray for him, then. Isn't "love thy neighbor as thyself" in your book? Why didn't you pray for his recovery, then? Wassamatter, you got a sliver in your tongue or two broken hands or something? You are obviously to blame for his death, since prayer never fails. Right?

Did you ever think of that? Probably not. Fanatics like you never think these things through.

October 01, 2007 12:27 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Ahhhh, I should have known, "Reggie" is Legion. You are still banned, you dork. Get lost.

October 01, 2007 12:36 PM  
Anonymous AJ Milne said...

Cool. Yeah, y'know, life's funny that way. I mean, I remember a neighbour who asked his god to cure him of cancer.

He was cured of cancer...

But then he was hit by a truck.

Turns out, tho', it really wasn't a tragedy. A spokesperson claiming to speak on behalf of the god at the funeral solemnly declared that the deceased was now happily playing parcheesi with St. Peter in heaven, anyway, and that the truck was just part of this god's plan. Apparently, St. Peter is really into board games, so it all worked out okay...

Presumably a truck will also shortly be dispatched to put his orphaned daughters out of their misery, too.

(Oh: further investigations revealed the truck was carrying a load of nauseatingly cheerily typeset pamphlets on the power of prayer. So the priest might really have been onto something...)

Also interesting: an attorney working pro bono for the orphaned daughters later sued the truck driver, the truck manufacturer, some guy who just happened to be walking by, and the god. All four cases are still pending.

The important thing is: I had an onion on my belt. Which was the style in those days.

October 01, 2007 12:42 PM  
Anonymous AJ Milne said...

Frickin' captcha stuff! Now I have no idea if my rambling response involving a case of cancer and a truck carrying a load of pamphlets on the power of prayer even showed up...

Anyway... feel free to delete it (and this) if it does. Seein' as the post it responded to is now gone anyway.

October 01, 2007 12:46 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Your comments have appeared. When a troll calls me the C-word, I give my commenters the right to make fun of that person [?] all they want and to comment on his disappeared comment.

The first forgettable comment went something about how his neighbor declared that science would cure cancer before he died, and how this shows that all science is a lie, etc.

Because s/he/it is praying her/his/its drivel via the ether, not on a computer, you know. ;-)

Yeah, and I know a certain evangelical oil wildcatter who has some stocks in "oil rich" land in Israel to sell for only a $700 minimum payment.

Well, I gotta go to lunch, now.
*Flaps arms and flies*

October 01, 2007 12:59 PM  
Blogger Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

Here's a thought - you may instead of deleting these hate vomitus, you could instead paraphrase or just describe in your own words what was commented - that would definitely take the steam out of them and give you material to work with. "yesterday such and such explained how the mythical character Jesus did blah blah...."

October 01, 2007 1:45 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

That's a great idea, lover!

Here goes: This morning, Legion gloated shamelessly that his neighbor, who had predicted that science would cure cancer by 2000, died in 2006. Since Legion obviously did not pray for his/her/its neighbor (because the troll says that prayer never fails), and since Legion wrote me a second piece of crap stating that all science is a "lie," Legion therefore bears responsibility for this person's death. Which does not surprise me, since last year Legion wished my sponsor children dead.

Isn't Legion a nice Christian? Next time you're sick, just go knock on Legion's door. Today's IP: Location: Kansas City, MO. Also bugs me from Wichita, KS, and Independence, MO. Apparently runs faith healing sessions out of the local Border's Book store when not misshelving books at the public library in Independence (from which s/he/it used to accost this blog).

Hope I didn't miss anything. ;-)

October 01, 2007 3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kristine. I see your back.

Funny, reading Hal Lindsay is part of the reason I became an atheist. It was around 1978-79 and I read 'The Late, Great Planet Earth'. I was about twelve and I was trying to be a good little christian. I took the book seriously. But I found that nothing; I repeat, nothing, that he predicted came true. Over time, that critical view moved onto my own faith in god. Everybody kept saying how letting Jesus into heart would led to a sence of well being. I never felt this sense even though I was sincere about accepting Jesus. So I place my faith in the same place I placed 'The Late, Great Planet Earth'.

Anyone who places their money on 'findings' in the Bible deserve to lose it.

Now, as for Shitlgruber. It is not human. It is a shit pinata. Shitlgruber pops up, people gleefully swing at it with their sticks. But the only reward everybody gets is getting covered in shit.

Kistine, one of the things you have to keep in mind is this; one of the most sublime pleasures in heaven is watching the damned suffer in hell.

One thing I have to ask about your account of what Shitlgruber said, did this person die of cancer? If so, was the Shit Pinata claiming that science does not work? Makes me wonder if it can do a simple thought experiment; does the fact that TB no longer kills people become invalidated by the fact that people used to die of TB? Are science and human efforts invalidated because at one point, humans were ignorant of those facts?

It's stupidity knows no bounds.

October 01, 2007 5:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It chagrins me to admit that there are dirty lowdown bums here in Missouri. What is frustrating is that they don't allow me to shoot such vermin when I find them.

October 02, 2007 1:48 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Now, as for Shitlgruber. It is not human. It is a shit pinata. Shitlgruber pops up, people gleefully swing at it with their sticks. But the only reward everybody gets is getting covered in shit.

Excellent metaphor! Shitty (as I now call it) is just miffed because I'm 42 - the answer to everything.

October 02, 2007 5:36 PM  

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