Birthday Rankings, Birthday Spankings...
It's my birthday on the 22nd. I can't be this old. No way can I be this friggin' old. I still get carded, for Pete's sake! I finally have age 19 figured out, and I'm 41? I still haven't figured out what to do with my life.
Well, anyway, I share March with these spring babies:
March 5: Rex Harrison (Spank! I still have a major crush on this guy);
March 9: Yuri Gagarin, first man in space (Sorry, can't say the same, Yuri);
March 10: Osama Bin Laden (Holy shit! And I left my belly-dance/trap-a-terrorist costume at the cleaner’s. If I ever had the honor of catching this guy, I’d turn him over and tell the CIA where to stick its 25 million dollar reward. I wouldn’t need a reward to turn in Osama Bin Laden. It would be my pleasure, my gift to the American people and to the world.)
March 12: Wally Schirra, astronaut;
March 13: Percival Lowell, astronomer;
March 14: Albert Einstein, and Frank Borman, astronaut and airline executive;
Okay, here we go - March 22: Chico Marx of Marx Brothers, Karl Malden, actor (I’m a big fan!), Marcel Marceau, William Shatner, and... oh, no... oh, crap...
March 22: Pat Robertson! AUGGH! AAUUGH! No fucking way!
March 23: Erich Fromm, psychoanalyst (and I'm gonna need one! Pat Robertson! Augh!)
March 24: Harry Houdini, magician, and (UPDATED) Steve McQueen (Thanks, j-dog!)
March 25: Gutzon Borglum, who sculpted Mt. Rushmore (The “Designer” himself. Maybe Michael Behe will throw a party), and Gloria Steinem;
March 26: Robert Frost, Tennessee Williams, Leonard Nimoy, and of course, Richard Dawkins;
March 28: Dirk Bogarde, actor (Big, big crush on him! Okay, no more actors, Kristine);
March 29: Eugene McCarthy;
March 30: Vincent van Gogh;
March 31: Cesar Chavez, and Al Gore Jr.
Get lost, Pat Robertson! This is my birthday! Mine. No spanking for you. Ditto for Osama.