Pluto: "You're Fired!"
Pluto has been demoted from "planet" to "dwarf." Well, I'm sorry, Pluto. Love ya, and it's been a great run with you over the past seventy years, but that "is it--isn't it" so-called atmosphere of yours, which is probably really just ice that may or may not vaporize at perihelion (you wanna explain your indecision to the gas giants at this table?), along with your suspiciously comet-like orbit, and your--I don't want to say this, but hell, it's what we're all thinking--insufficient size has made astronomers conclude that you just can't play caboose to that mnemonic anymore. Pluto, you'll still make a great winter night viewing object in your new category. Best of luck to you. Pluto, you're fired.
And you, Charon, I'm sorry, as Pluto's "moon," you don't even qualify as a dwarf. Charon, you're fired!