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Amused Muse

Inspiring dissent and debate and the love of dissonance

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Location: Surreality, Have Fun Will Travel, Past Midnight before a Workday

Master's Degree holder, telecommuting from the hot tub, proud Darwinian Dawkobot, and pirate librarian belly-dancer bohemian secret agent scribe on a mission to rescue bloggers from the wholesome clutches of the pious backstabbing girl fridays of the world.

Monday, June 25, 2007

"Doood! Evolution is, like, sooooo bogus!"

Dude, so like, a buncha hipsters totally went to the gangsta Creation "Museum." Fubar. Fubar. Don't even!

My man Wesley, my man Jason, my man Professor Steve Steve, and teh hawt science chica Dr. Tara had a really great time. NOT!

Something that Tara mentions reminds me of that hideous "Shreck" thingie that John and I went to at Universal Studios:

We were told by the employees that it was a satirical look at evolution. All I have to say is, if they think that was satire, they really need to read some Twain or Swift.

The premise was that the angels Michael and Gabriel were talking to a lost and wandering camper--a frustrated soul who was looking for meaning in the world, but didn't want people to "think she's stupid" by believing that science was wrong about evolution. The whole movie, while slick, was like an extended Chick tract (Big Daddy comes to mind, as part of it consisted of "Mike" and "Gabe" harassing a science teacher...."duuuuude, like, evolution is sooooo bogus").

And special effects were out in full force. The chairs vibrated with thunder, or when the angels "whooshed" away, and the chair backs squirted water during the rainstorm. (This was SUPREMELY annoying).

Yes, it is. It also creeps me totally out because it reminds me of those "feelies" in Brave New World.

My brother noted that these distractions occurred frequently when they made a really astounding claim that might make a person think--"let's distract them by spraying water in their face!" An interesting theory...

This theme presented itself throughout the museum. I guess my one main surprise was that despite hailing themselves as an alternative science museum, there really was fairly little science there. Sure, there were videos to watch and many of the exhibits had narration, but just based on the displays, they really half-assed (hell, more like quarter-assed) the "scientific objections to an old universe and evolution" part of the "museum." Instead, the focus was more typically on "why Christianity is good for you" and "why human reason is wrong".

As if! Look, I don't know how to say this nicely - but this shit it not about science at all. It never has been. It's about making people as boring as possible.

(What if you started talking about a particularly exciting football game and I cut you off with, "Do you actually think that those two teams are creating the game through their meaningless struggle, like two amphibians on a beach? Don't you know that IT IS JESUS WHO PLAYS THE GAME? The players aren't sufficient in themselves to make football happen! There has to be a Master Player controlling everything! You tell me who won, and I'll tell you that that's just how God plays with Himself." Would that make me sound like a person interested in sports, and curious at all about the rules, plays, players, and strategies? Well, that's how I feel when people tell me, "You tell me how life evolved, and I'll just say that's how Goddidit." Gee, thanks for your sermon. Now I'll just go find some people to talk to who are curious about what I'm curious about. Bye.)

What this doggerel is about is a running grist mill of mediocrity - making everyone into everyone else. No sparkle, no disobedience, no real curiosity - all reactions, no deep thoughts (though plenty of cherry-picking, emotional arguments, appeals to authority, and other such logical fallacies). I get tired of the Hitler allusions to the right wing but I must tell you, the photos of this sideshow's "exhibits" reminds me of those putrid art exhibitions of banal paintings that Hitler held. And the dire warnings of evilutionism's "corruption" - straight out of Goebbel's exhibition of "Degenerate Art."

And don't get me started on the megachurch - Nuremburg rallies parallels, because Richard Dawkins hit the nail on the head with that one.

Shimmies to Pharyngula, Aetiology, Panda's Thumb, EvolutionBlog, and the NCSE.

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Blogger Doug said...

When I was a teen in a fundy family, the mediocre "Left Behind" movies were the propaganda inflicted on the kids. Forced viewing always had the same effect on me: I'd wonder how stupid my peers could be to take that shit seriously. Many, many years later, and it doesn't sound like the fundy propaganda is much improved. Dude, you are so totally, like, getting left behind. Mark of Beast? Gnarly.

June 25, 2007 4:17 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

We weren't fundy but I remember those "Left Behind" 1970s films, with the protagonist blond girl, who was "a good girl" but not "good enough" to be raptured (yeah, sounds familiar! "Not good enough." And we wonder why so many young women are anorexic and bulimic and staying in abusive relationships and crap like that) being chased by Satan's helicopters and such. There were some kids who were definitely fundy in my church youth group, including the guy who said that potato chips disproved evolution and that Muslims were calling God a "liar" by not worshipping Jesus. *irony* Gawd, I just had so much in common with those kids! */irony*

I've checked out the Kirk Cameron version of "Left Behind" and plan to watch it tonight (assuming I remember - I tend to start dancing or go for a walk, etc., and forget to watch things). ;-)

June 25, 2007 4:44 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Potato chips disproved evolution?! On their own or did they have help?

That is such a funny notion, and so bizarre even by fundy standards, that I did a spit take at work when I read it the first time. Thanks for making my day a little more surreal. :)

I re-watched one of the Left Behinds as an adult to see if it was as horrible as I remembered. Mainly, it was pathetic, reminiscent of the 70s, and sometimes strangely amusing, but mostly just pathetic. But it was fun to sing along with the theme song, "You're left behind . . ."

Good luck with your video viewing. My advice: drink heavily.

June 25, 2007 5:06 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

*Lifts glass*
I'm so friggin' sore from dance class/parading/power walking this weekend that I can't even feel guilty about sitting on my ass tonight.

Okay, Kirk Cam, here I come.

Potato chips disprove evolution because you don't find a frito chip in a Old Dutch potato chip bag. SEE?
(A, er, mutation of the "peanut butter disproves evolution" doggerel, which made me remember it.)

June 25, 2007 7:54 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

". . . because you don't find a frito"

I knew the potato chips had help. By themselves, all they could prove is my lack of willpower.

June 26, 2007 9:33 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Well then, by all means, help yourself to the potato chips!

June 26, 2007 10:00 AM  

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