"I Wish I Had a Stun Gun"
"I don't want anyone pushing or elbowing!" he yelled to a crowd of more than 100 shoppers lined up outside the store's entrance. "I just want everyone here to stay safe."
His plea for polite behavior was forgotten minutes later, when the doors swung open and a crush of people descended on a cart piled high with 19-inch flat-panel TVs, priced at $179 each. "Get out of the way!" yelled one woman, her cart already stuffed with two TVs and a DVD player. "God, I wish I had a stun gun," one shopper said as he maneuvered his cart through the crowd.
Though unsettling to some [emphasis mine], the morning mayhem suggests a strong start to the holiday shopping season.
"Unsettling to some"? I am fucking terrified of anybody who appeals to God to give him a stun gun just before Christmas. And do I strike anybody as "faint of heart"?
Yeah, actually I am. I'm faint-hearted when it comes to stun guns. (The cops killed this kid, too. He was obviously mentally ill and not hurting anybody.)
Shimmies to Pharyngula and Rev. BigDumbChimp.