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Amused Muse

Inspiring dissent and debate and the love of dissonance

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Location: Surreality, Have Fun Will Travel, Past Midnight before a Workday

Master's Degree holder, telecommuting from the hot tub, proud Darwinian Dawkobot, and pirate librarian belly-dancer bohemian secret agent scribe on a mission to rescue bloggers from the wholesome clutches of the pious backstabbing girl fridays of the world.

Friday, December 01, 2006

"Mommy Burns In Hell"

A parody of those horrible Jack Chick tracts.

(Shimmies to Christ on the Crapper for clippin' my angel wings)

UPDATED: Some self parody by ole Jack Chickie Babe.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's really cool. Someone should print up a whole crapload of them and stick them everywhere.

I never came across a chick tract in the wild, but I do have one a friend gave me called "That Old Devil" (C 1992). In it, there is a crude depiction of the rock group "Kiss" on one page.

And then there's "Send $5 for a sample assortment and price list". He makes you pay for the catalogue!

How can I make that kind of moola?!

December 01, 2006 6:01 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Would you believe that I encounter Jack Chick tracts all the time? It's because I ride the bus. Mostly what I see are the "Where Do You Think You'll Go After You Die?" one.

BronzeDog has a great parody tract, too, about fanaticism. I'll find the linky after my final! Which is tomorrow!

I. Just. Finished. My. Paper. On the cataloging of digital resources, BTW. (Which digital resources, you may ask? Weblogs! And which weblogs, you may ask? Well...take a guess! All I'm going to say is that I don't think the folks at UD are going to like my paper.)

December 01, 2006 6:37 PM  
Blogger PiGuy said...

That's hilarious!

I'd sure like to see that paper on UD. I'd read it right after finals - dynamic link libraries are kicking my ass!

December 01, 2006 7:05 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Well, it's not on UD exclusively--it's on weblogs and their ethereal quality. I do bring up Pharyngula, UD's disappearing info, and Elsberry's site mirroring. For what it's worth, I do argue that UD deserves to be cataloged and archived, because it is part of a crucial discussion going on today--but I believe that all of it should be available, not just what has not been excised. But it's really just an example in a paper about the larger question of how to catalog digital resources.

December 01, 2006 7:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious! If you want parodies of Jack Chick's tracts, check out the crazy ones over there at These jokers took 9 tracts and FILMED THEM! Pretty good too. It was in the L.A. FIlm Festival and New Fest in New York! You will dig it the most so check it the hell out!!!

December 02, 2006 2:29 AM  
Blogger JanieBelle said...

Knowing how link leads on to link...

There's a mountain of hilarity here -



December 02, 2006 12:14 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

"Good afternoon, godless sodomites!" Isn't that cable-access show (or is it cabal access show?) by Fred Phelps something else? What a goon!

Thanks Anon for the linky. It's up!

JanieBelle, this is what I think of intelligent design: Christ on the Clapper!

Christ on! *clap, clap*
Christ off! *clap, clap*
Christ on, Christ off--
It's bullshit! ;-)

The class was wowed by my presentation of my paper, BTW.

December 02, 2006 3:45 PM  
Anonymous Alison said...

We got one in with the Halloween candy. Well, not a chick tract, but a tract nonetheless. I think we need a lot more tract parodies. Lots and lots and lots.

December 02, 2006 3:48 PM  
Blogger JanieBelle said...

"The class was wowed by my presentation of my paper, BTW."

Good Show, Kristine!

December 02, 2006 4:45 PM  
Blogger Kristjan Wager said...

So, when can the rest of us read that paper Kristine?

December 03, 2006 6:00 AM  
Blogger The Science Pundit said...

I saw the DOOM TOWN adaptation, it was hilarious!

If you're a fan of Fred Phelps, you might enjoy Michael Moore vs. Fred Phelps.


December 03, 2006 7:20 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Here's one for you, Alison, a consolation for having your Halloween C-bombed.

Tell you what, Kristjan--once I get the paper back and see what kind of grade I've gotten
;-) I may post the paper here as a PDF, or I may submit it to a journal (JASIST may be too ambitious for a new grad student, but we'll see).

I repeat--the paper is really about cataloging, not the most sexy subject, so if I were to post the paper here I'd probably have to add a summary of library cataloging principles just so that people know what I'm talking about. UD, Pharyngula, Panda's Thumb, and Wes Elsberry's sites are discussed as examples of unique problems that may be posed by their interrelation and structure, as opposed to "neutral" websites such as Understanding Evolution. I also propose that printed books are entering into a new relationship with (as opposed to being "replaced" by) digital resources, and give the recent collaboration on Panda's Thumb to counter Wells' latest book as an example of this.

I must say that, when I mentioned as a part of my presentation the fact that Wells has "questioned" the HIV-AIDS link, and that there is a segment of activist parents who do so as well, I got shocked looks. Being that I come from a relatively lesser educated background than my peers in grad school, I am closer to these subcultures than they are. I wrote what I'm concerned about--I didn't get into blogging and visiting other's blogs to write a paper, it's just what happened.

I'll let everyone know when I'm ready to distribute the paper, but first I need to see what my professor thinks, if I went into the fifth dimension or not! ;-) (She seemed enthusiastic about my presentation, at least.)

Javier, thanks, but I can only take so much of Phelps! What is his prob? His stupid minions came here to protest some poor dead soldier's funeral--holy shit, I don't get it! I guess they ended up not protesting. I felt so sorry for the guy's family. Phelps hates America, and damns America to hell--why isn't he considered a terrorist?

December 03, 2006 11:21 AM  
Anonymous Pierce R. Butler said...

Um, that "self parody" link is foo - should be, no?

December 03, 2006 2:24 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...



December 03, 2006 3:12 PM  
Anonymous llewelly said...

Fun stuff, but after all these years, _Who Will Be Eaten First?_ is the only Chick parody that is as funny (let alone as unhinged) as the originals.
I don't see them often any more, but as a child in 1980s I found quite few Chick tracts. The most common ones where the anti-Mormon (I grew up Salt Lake, Utah) and anti-D&D tracts.

December 03, 2006 8:01 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Yeah, the Cthulhu parody was great, but that "Last Generation" one brought it all back for me--it had everything, the antiChrist police, the UN-baiting, little Nazi schoolchildren, the cabin on the mountain, black helocopters, microchipping--the whole nine yards! I thought I was going to bust a gut. Maybe I'm not as into Lovecraft as you guys (no, come to think of it, I doubt that).

December 03, 2006 8:32 PM  
Anonymous Heine said...

Jack Chick died on Dec 2 at his home in California.

He has gone to his reward.

December 11, 2006 9:37 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Jack Chick died on Dec 2

Oh, you're kidding. I am sincerely sorry.

I can't find any news of his death, but it seems that he was enthusiastic about drawing from a young age and once studied to be an actor.

Religion can interrupt an artistic life, or people can channel their artistic urges into religion, but when they do that what comes out more often than not is schmaltz, sentimental crap, or horrible lies like his tracts.

It may surprise people that I collect and save Bibles and old religious tracts and devotional pamphlets. (Hey--I'm not the one throwing them in the trash! It shocks me.) So I'm sort of a religious archivist. I think some of them may be valuable, or of historic value, and have thought of donating them to a special collection. I suppose I should add the few Jack Chick tracts I've saved to that collection in the fire safe.

I guess I'm a true librarian at heart!

December 11, 2006 10:15 AM  
Blogger JanieBelle said...

No mention of Mr. Chick's demise on either wikipedia or

December 11, 2006 9:11 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I can't find anything either. But save those Chick tracts! Piece of Americana (or rather, Americaca).

December 11, 2006 9:29 PM  

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