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Amused Muse

Inspiring dissent and debate and the love of dissonance

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Location: Surreality, Have Fun Will Travel, Past Midnight before a Workday

Master's Degree holder, telecommuting from the hot tub, proud Darwinian Dawkobot, and pirate librarian belly-dancer bohemian secret agent scribe on a mission to rescue bloggers from the wholesome clutches of the pious backstabbing girl fridays of the world.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Rat's Zinger

Here's the latest poop from the Pope - you are all heretics! Well, that's news.

Wake me when something really happens - like when the church cures cancer.

(I love how the media are calling him "Benedict" now. Makes me think of a certain traitor from American history.)

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? The Roman Catholic Church is the only true church? No, that claim has never been made before. What of all the other true churches. Can't we have a trial by combat. Which ever church wins there world has been blessed by god and must be the true church. Remember what Voltaire said, "God is on the side of those with the biggest battalion."

Oh, wait. This was done before. Remember the Thirty Years War?


July 10, 2007 12:13 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Can't we have a trial by combat.

Yeah, this is all just too hilarious for words. Know what? I declare a shimmy-off! That's the only way to solve anything!

I'll offer lessons at the AAI conference so we can gird our loins for battle! ;-) (Yeah, yeah, I know, just a means to get certain people to shake it, but let me have my little fantasies.)

July 10, 2007 12:40 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

"Trial by combat"

Uh-oh, apparently Thor heard you and approves of your proposed dispute resolution method: Door to door religious guy hit by lightening

July 10, 2007 12:49 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Wow. Good thing he's okay, unlike the other guy who died. This isn't funny, but I don't understand why people say the things they do: "He's unconscious, he's in a coma," said Francisco Perez, leader of the Puerto Rico-based group. "It's difficult what happened, you know, but what can we do? Things happen in life, but we still believe in God."

Things happen? Huh? When good things happen, it's "We give all the glory to God," etc. But when bad things happen, they just "happen"? Can anyone explain that to me in a way that I understand?

July 10, 2007 1:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kristine, when you declared a shimmy-off, I pictured the pope in a belly dancing outfit. That is now an image seared into my head.
Dear Troll is right, you are evil.

It burns!
It hurts!


July 10, 2007 1:25 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

*Makes soothing gestures* Okay! Okay! Let's pick a new image to cancel that one. How about -

*Discards image of Pat Robertson doing the twist*

*For preservation of the earth's axis, discards even the thought of Jerry Falwell twirling in his grave*

Well. Regular Uncommon Descent commentator GilDodgen (scroll down) is pretty hawt. Let's imagine him shaking it.

My gawd. Chopin, Liszt, Rachmaninoff - all my favs - I'm going to call Gil "Shimmy Fingers" from now on!

HEY! Gil and I could have a piano-playing-off (no, no, I haven't practiced for years and he was a friggin' concert pianist - bad idea, BAD IDEA!)

July 10, 2007 2:50 PM  
Blogger Scott Hatfield . . . said...

The title alone of this post is worth recognition.

July 10, 2007 2:52 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

SHIMMY-OFF WITH SCOTT! Heh, heh. Now I'm on solid ground again, hehe. I'm evil, Scott. You should stay away from me. ;-)

July 10, 2007 3:03 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Hey, people, there's more than one "Shimmy Fingers" around here - check out Scott's score!

I can read but I can't write music. :-(

July 10, 2007 4:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh dear, now I am combining Jazz Hands with Shimmy Fingers. I am just too spastic.

The idea of the Shimmy Off reminds me of a story I heard over the last weekend. One hour of the show, "American Roots" (On NPR), was devoted to The Neville Brothers. Yes, there was some Meters. Anyways, one of the brothers spoke briefly of the history of the Marti Gras Indians. He said when he was young, there would be attacks and somethings fights during the parade, payback for attacks during the previous year. But over time, physically beating someone turned into beating someone through having better threads and better dance moves. I would say this was an improvement for the better.

But it still begs the question, do we want to see Benedict and Pat Robertson try to out dress and out dance each other. But I think it is save to say, Ratzo is the flashier dresser.


July 11, 2007 1:26 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

He has bling, anyway.

July 11, 2007 8:43 AM  
Anonymous AJ Milne said...

It continues to baffle me that this guy gets any coverage whatsoever. I mean, they quote him on a regular basis on whatever the hell pops into that single, ancient, withered neuron remaining in that wasted skull of his, on whichever subject he has mos recently declared himself an authority, and away we go...

I mean... oh... wait... ommmmm.... ommmm... hey... somethin's comin' through from *my* personal magical sky friend right this very minute... Wait for it, media... I'll be issuing the release any minute now...

(Looking up) And that's with a D? Okay. Good. Got it... Thanks... Yep, I'll tell them...

(Turns back to cameras) Okay. Take this down: My magical sky daddy says Ratzinger is a total dick.

Yes, this is for immediate release.

July 11, 2007 9:12 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

Thank you, AJ. Ratzinger's gonna be a rock star, now.

Women be throwing underpanties at his Popemobile and stuff.

Good goin'. ;-)

July 11, 2007 9:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? Ratso is going to be a rock star because he is a dick? Well, the head covering he wears does look like the tip of a dick.


July 11, 2007 10:25 AM  
Blogger Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

You know, he really does look like the dark master in Star Wars - a monk-hood would really top it off.

I grew up in this mind clamp syndicate and they were always the "one true church". In fact we didn't learn anything about any other religion. If I hadn't had a protestant family next door I would be totally clueless.

July 11, 2007 11:11 AM  
Blogger Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

Oh, and the word "benedict" just makes me hungry. I don't believe I have any Canadian bacon on hand.

July 11, 2007 11:13 AM  
Blogger Kristine said...

No, no, substitute spinach. Go Florentine, that's close enough to Rome. ;-)

I'm sorry to say that being raised Protestant I was taught a bunch of crap about Catholics. And in Girl Scouts, mind you. Rumor has it that they break for kitty-cats like most people.

Janine, look at the Heavy Metal dicks that women fall in love with – look at Mick Jagger fathering another kid recently with some young thing (I wonder how much she still loved Jagger when that kid gave his own rendition of “I can’t get no…”?). Look at Bobby Cutts, he’s a major dick – where does he merit all these gorgeous girlfriends that he treats like shit? There are women writing love letters to Scott Peterson in prison. *shudder* Want to hear something even more creepy? Hordes of German women wrote love letters to Adolf Hitler, too (I think some of them were excerpted in The Atlantic, but I can’t remember). I don’t get it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pope gets girl-gushy fan mail…ugh…

July 11, 2007 11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kristine, speaking of love letters to Hitler, you should find a copy of "Mothers In The Fatherland" by Claudia Kootz.

As you can guess, it is a very scary book. She starts with the question, why would so many women support a system that was hyper masculine. She found that many of the first women to support the Nazis did not really fit into the Nazi ideal of femininity but the was useful organizers. After they took power, the replaced many of the first liners with more pliant women and then pretty much left them alone.

It has been years since I read it but one line that I remember was this. When asked why one of the leaders of a Nazi women's group did what she did, she answer that the Nazis were creating more masculine men and more feminine women.


July 11, 2007 12:33 PM  
Anonymous AJ Milne said...

Thank you, AJ. Ratzinger's gonna be a rock star, now.

Ah, damn. Shoulda seen that coming, I guess. Such an awful mystery is celebrity.

Let's try again.

(Looks up) What's that, oh Great one? With a Y, you say?

(To cameras) Okay. This just in. My magical sky buddy also sez Ratzinger likes Yanni.

A lot.

Thanks all.

July 11, 2007 4:17 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

I once went to a Yanni concert, because my friends wanted to.


P.S. I don't remember a thing from it.

July 12, 2007 11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it because you supressed the memory of it?


July 12, 2007 1:17 PM  
Blogger Kristine said...

In one ear and out the other, I think.

Janine, thank you for the "Mothers In The Fatherland" link. I may check that one out when I get a chance.

It's such a stereotype that women are helpless little victims of patriarchy, when in fact they often enthusiastically support a male-dominated structure - go to Dembski's workplace webpage for a good case in point. This is the "college" that fired a professor of Hebrew because they suddenly figured out that she was a woman, and women are not to instruct men in such things. The question of why women want to become professors in conservative colleges arises here.

July 12, 2007 2:33 PM  
Blogger breakerslion said...

No true Scotsman would ever be caught dead at a Ratzinger concert! If Gene Simmons dressed like Liberace, he would only be half that scary! I cannot picture that demented Kraut in a Harem dress, but I can picture him in leather, appearing with Keith Richards and Dio, extolling the crowd, "Ready to rock are you?" and breaking into

"Holy diver you've been down too long in the midnight sea oh what's becoming of me
Ride the tiger you can see his stripes but you know he's clean oh don't you see what I mean
Gotta get away holy diver yeah
Got shiny diamonds like the eyes of a cat in the black and blue something is coming for you look out
Race for the morning you can hide in the sun 'till you see the light oh we will pray it's all right
Gotta get away get away"

Hey, it's about as coherent as anything else he's said so far.

July 12, 2007 8:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So according to Benedict XVI, I'm heretic.
Well, I'll be damned!!!

July 12, 2007 9:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So that is a place where the students are proud of M.R.S. degree they get. Cannot allow the womenfolk to aspire to anything else.


July 13, 2007 12:07 AM  
Anonymous J-Dog said...

I was trying to convince DaveScot of this very point, but FTK keeeps blocking my reply's. Of course, as we all know, Davey WILL NEVER EVER admnit that he's wrong.

Fortunately, he will be burning in hell-fire for all eternity for being heretic scum, so at least he's got THAT going for him!

BTW - Since it was "catch-up night" after a 2 week hiatus at Comedy Central, Colbert did a GREAT little post of this last night.

Yes, DaveScot, you WILL rot in hell. EX-CATHOLIC'S RULE DAVESCOT!


July 17, 2007 3:40 PM  

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